Never Think
by Steph.107
Summary: GRigsby! Takes place as 'Russet Potatoes' finishes. Rigsby's POV, mostly how he reacts when he rememberes what happened. Awkward situations agogo! Finshed!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** First attempt at a 'Grigsby' fic.

This chapter is short, just to get the story going... probably be about five chapters long, maybe less.

Starts just as the episode 'Russet Potatoes' finishes. That was a fun episode.

Also, if you don't understand the title, all will make sence as the story unfolds, if you do already, SMART PEOPLE! Extra thumbs up from me.

**Disclaimer**: I'd be happy if I owned Rigsby, never mind the Mentalist, sadly, I don't.

Btw, is anyone else shocked to find out that the dude who plays Rigsby is actually welsh? I know I was.

* * *

"It'll come back to you."

I felt the feeling of doubt disappear as Jane grasped my shoulder lightly. Suddenly, the last two days events hit me at full force. Meeting with that... that _woman._ Slamming the suspects face into the table, kissing Grace in front of the entire team, almost killing Ja- wait what! I... I kissed Grace. In front of everyone...? Oh _crap_. I couldn't have... could I? But the more I thought about it, the more clearly that scene played in my head; I got up, followed her to her desk, grabbed her and kissed her. Frick.

I didn't care about the other stuff, I'd already been pardoned for 'not being myself', but I couldn't pardon _this_! Oh God, how had she reacted? How had everyone else reacted? In fact, how did I react- no wait, what made me do it in the first place?! Oh wait, I remember that now as well, Jane. Testing to see if I really was hypnotised. Guess that theory proved right. Another point to Jane, I guess.

Hmm. I don't think I'll be able to remember how the team reacted, I wasn't paying attention then, so I have no way of guessing now, but from the way everyone just assumed I remembered everything before I actually did, I'm guessing they don't harbour any bad feelings about it. But what about Grace... she looked almost sad when I said I didn't recall anything...

How on earth did she react? In my memory, she kissed me back, I'm sure, but there's no way she would have done that, not Grace. Especially not in front of everyone. She probably just pushed me away, and my memory has been replaced with a vaguely similar dream I've had once. Yeah, that's probably it.

* * *

First chapter over, reviews would be a plus.

Also, any ideas for how this ends up would be cool, just to see how people think it should go, like they end up getting together, just kissing, maybe not even that, etc.

Cheerio! 8D


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Ok, I'm trying to finish this before tomorrow nights episode in case anything happens that makes me change my story plan. So the next chapter will be the last.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the Mentalist.

* * *

_She probably just pushed me away, and my memory has been replaced with a vaguely similar dream I've had once. Yeah, that's probably it._

_***_

No wait, I would have remembered the excruciating experience of ultimate rejection in front of my peers, she _must_ have kissed me back.

"Oh God!" I groaned out loud, pressing my fists into my forehead. I snapped back to attention and looked around me quickly, to make sure nobody had seen my sudden outburst. One person was stood wavering in the doorway, probably wondering if I was going to lash out again or something.

"I'm fine." I said, standing up, making this unknown worker scarper away. "Really… I'm fine!" I shouted after him, probably not best for my career if I'm scaring young people away. From this, I saw Cho looking at me from his desk when I walked back into the office, but, like Cho, he didn't say anything, just turned back to his phone call. I looked around the office, Jane was 'sleeping' on his leather couch, Lisbon was trying in vain to persuade him to get up, I'm sure I wasn't the only person seeing what was there between them.

Cho, as I said, was in the middle of a phone call, sat at his extremely tidy desk, my eyes wavered over to mine, and I wished my desk was that tidy. Actually no, who was I kidding; a tidy desk wouldn't suit me at all. Finally, my eyes fell onto Grace, who was staring pointedly at the screen in front of her and the pain hit me again as it had done in the kitchen area. I'd forced her into kissing me, in front of everyone. That's not… that's not how it should have gone! She probably hates me, dammit!

I sat down at my desk cautiously, "Rigsby, is that you?"

"So you get up for him sitting down?"

I looked up as Jane sat up with that smile of his; I nodded at him, not paying attention to my boss for the second. "Urgh…yes?"

He got up, swiftly skipping around Lisbon and leaned on the side of my desk, "How're you feeling?" He asked, grin in place, fully aware that I had remembered everything. I looked around my other colleagues, they all knew he was the last person to leave, and he could have told them that he did that 'trigger', Cho was now torn between concentrating on his phone call and paying attention to what Jane was saying, Lisbon was always paying attention anyway, and Grace… well, I think I just caught her eye, but she looked away quickly. Great, now she was scared of me. Only natural, I guess.

I sighed, I was going to kill Jane as soon as I had the opportunity, he knew what I would do under the situation where I had very little… well, whatever he said, I had little of it, not myself, whatever. Yet he asked me to do it anyway. Sure, I had gotten a kiss out of Grace but I would have liked to have properly been myself while that happened. It's like a drunken kiss, it doesn't mean anything. I had to talk to her, as soon as possible, no, that's too soon probably. After work will do.

"I'm fine." I said, breathing heavily. I tried making some vain attempt to look like I had work to do, but I honestly couldn't find anything in front of me that would do.

"So you remember everything then?"

Even Grace looked up for that. Crap. What do I say?! Wait- what's that line again? Defense is the best offence? The best offence is a good defense? Well, either way, 'flight' is my best option.

"I remember breaking that guy's nose by slamming his head into the table." Yup, sounds more like 'fight'.

Jane smiled at me for a second; he knew I remembered all of it. "Is that it?" He asked, evidently not satisfied with my answer.

"The rest is still hazy." I answered, a little too quickly for it to seem truthful. For some reason, he didn't question me further; he just sat there smiling at me, making me feel more and more awkward by the minute. Finally, he straightened up and began walking back to his couch, but only got half way before turning back and leaning in towards me, he lowered himself towards my head and whispered in my ear, hopefully at a level that no one else could hear,

"You should talk to her after work, because she won't bring it up." He leaned away from me giving me a knowing look. I just looked back at him. He was too good for his own good.

"What? What did you say?" Lisbon asked, clearly annoyed from being left out of the loop.

"Probably arranging their secret date. That or concocting an evil plan against you." Cho said quickly.

I saw the look of skepticism pass over her face, before she sighed and walked towards her office again, giving Jane a reproving look as she passed, Jane simply smiled back. Cho resumed his work, not interested in this enough, while Grace continued to look at me, I could see her out of the corner of my eye, studying me or something. I looked over at her, attempting to smile, but I couldn't. She had looked away again before my attempt of a smile faltered anyway. Shoot.

***

The last hour of work rolled by slowly, and I waited counting down the seconds on the clock until boss announced that we could pack up for the day. I tried stopping the relief from spreading over my face but with little success. Now I was in a dilemma, do I ask her now and risk her rejecting me again in front of everyone, wait for her by her car? Ring her? No, she'll have thought of an excuse so she doesn't have to talk to me. Turn up at her place…? Well, she can hardly say that she can't spare five minutes there. Crikey. My heart was hammering in my chest at the thousand possibilities that tonight would bring.

I hesitated in packing my stuff for the night, going over in my mind what I would say but everything sounded stupid, I noticed my hands visibly shaking as I tried closing the snacks drawer in my desk. I stumbled away from the office, sparing Jane a confused look as he made some sort of hand movement at me; I'm assumed it meant "Go get her," but it could have easily meant, "Go fetch me my tea," for I all know. I nodded at him once as turned the corner towards the elevator, seeing as it was about to close I ran for it and stopped it with my hand, I waited for it to open again and stopped short. Grace was stood in there by herself. I let out a nervous laugh, smiled at her then stepped in. Good Lord, this was going to be awkward. She expected me to not remember anything, thus expecting me to act how I usually act around her, not too nervous to press the buttons in front of her for fear she would suddenly, somehow see right through me. She leaned forward and pressed it for me, giving me an odd look while I continued to stare forward out of the elevator until the doors closed.

I gulped, I was locked in a confined space with Grace and I wasn't sure I could calm my breathing enough to hide the fact that my heart was hammering into overdrive. "Rigsby?"

How could she not see that she was driving me crazy? And she was stood only two feet away from me; doesn't she realize how much self control I actually need around her?

"…Wayne?"

"Huh?"

* * *

Reviews are scientifically proven to make writer's want to write more.

Well, probably. 8D


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Man, this is the last chapter, and I worked really hard on this, so I hope it's turned out OK.

Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, added this story to their favourites list and put it on their alerts. Makes me day. 8D

**Disclaimer**: Mentalist belongs to someone else.

* * *

_How could she not see that she was driving me crazy? And she was stood only two feet away from me; doesn't she realize how much self control I actually need around her?_

"…_Wayne?"_

"_Huh?"_

_***_

"Wayne, are you alright? You look kinda hot…"

"I- what? I look…? Oh, you mean I look warm? Urgh… yes. Haven't you noticed how warm it is in here?" My God. Why do I sound so lame? I'm staring at her, weird enough, I'm sweating bullets as well, how on earth am I going to bring it up with her if I cant even think about it near her?! I'm screwed. I looked away from her feeling pretty crappy about myself. Why am I such a coward?

"No really Wayne, are you ill or some-"

"I remember everything." I suddenly blurted out. I covered my eyes with my right hand and groaned. That was it, the moment that ruined everything. That one little whisper that should have never been spoken. Why am I so stupid!?

I heard Grace take a step, probably back away from me. "Everything?" She whispered at me.

I breathed deeply. "Everything." I groaned back.

"Like… everything? Everything that happened… everything?" I could hear the panic in her voice, evidently she wasn't aware of how panicked I was about the situation as well.

"Yes, Grace, everything. Nothing is still hazy. I remember everything clearly." I stated evenly despite my nerves. I could see she shock in her face and I'm sure mine resembled hers from my sudden confession only a few moments ago. "I remember… _her,_ I remember her telling me how he had hurt her and used her, thinking all I should do is protect this poor woman, I remember getting angry and slamming his head into a table, then boss taking my badge and gun, Jane telling me I had been hypnotized and… how it was proved that I erm… was…"

I couldn't continue, we had noticed the blush on each others faces and looked away, then walked out of the elevator the second the doors opened.

"I have to… go now, Rigsby. I – I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Grace." I finally said back even though I knew she wouldn't hear me. I followed behind her a few steps since our cars were near to each other; I stopped before she did though. I sat down behind the wheel and breathed deeply for a while, not even noticing Grace pull out behind me and drive away. Why was I such an idiot? Why did I bring it up like that, why didn't I cover myself after I slipped up and why did I kiss her in the first place?! I didn't think my defenses could be so low.

***

Even though this night was like so many others in that I sat alone, watching TV alone, eating alone, then eventually sleeping alone, it felt so very different. Too much had happened in too short a space, the worst being that the woman I'm crazy about now probably hates me and won't speak to me ever again. Nice work, Rigsby.

I spent the entire night in pretty much silence. I got annoyed with the TV quickly and I didn't fancy reading anything. I was too distracted to eat food, so I didn't even get to hear the sound of the microwave going, or a voice on the other end of the phone of some takeaway I might have ordered from. So I ended in bed at ten that night listening to the clock ticking and gradually watch the sky darken outside, wondering how even more lame I could seem. I must have been dozing for about an hour when I got so bored with myself and decided to have a wander around my apartment, and by wander, I mean grab a drink. I grabbed some sweatpants and stuffed my legs through them, stopping halfway through the doorway of my bedroom I stretched to my full height before padding along to my kitchen barefoot. I was about to grab a beer from my fridge when I heard a persistent knocking at my door.

Confused, I closed my fridge and headed towards my front door. Forgetting to look through my peephole since I spent the last hour with my eyes closed I undid the deadbolt and opened the door. Huh. Looks like Grace is stood outside my door, that can't be right.

"Hello?" I asked, trying to focus my eyes on this Grace imposter.

"Rigsby! It's me, would you let me…oh." She stopped and looked away from me slightly, a blush working its way up her cheeks and hang on! I know that awkward stance. It _is_ Grace!

"Grace, why are you here?" I wondered aloud, because honestly, I didn't know.

"I- Can you just invite me in? It's cold out here."

I stared at her again for a moment before nodding and moving out of the way for her to come inside. Looking around quickly I decided that my apartment wasn't that messy, by my standards at least. She hadn't recoiled in terror, so that was something I guess.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you Grace," '_Not that I'm not happy'_? Of course I'm happy about it, why am I always so stupid around her? "But why are you here… now?"

"Could you put some clothes on please?" She asked briskly. I looked down and sure enough, I was still on wearing sweatpants. I nodded my head quickly and headed back towards my bedroom, at least I was doing until she shouted me back.

"Wait, just. It's fine. I need to say something OK?"

I looked at her, taking in the detail of her face, she looked worried and… scared? What did she have to be scared about? Surley she knew I'd never do anything to harm her or purposely upset her in any way. I don't know how long we continued to stand there but her eyes were now closed and she was breathing deeply.

"Urgh, Grace?" She opened her eyes and stared into mine, well, at least I now knew she hadn't fallen asleep stood up. Boy that would have been weird.

"I know how you feel about me. I know everything, and for how long. And how much." She said this all quickly, her eyes not leaving my face, watching to see my world crumble around me. Before I could splutter out an apology or explanation or whatever she wanted, she cut across me again.

"I know from your reaction to when Jane said you were planning to ask me back to your place… here. All the times I've caught you looking at me yet you never did it in a way that would make anyone uncomfortable. That time in the men's room, when you were hurt after I was so stupid!"

"Grace, you're not-"

"Don't interrupt. And I was, I really was, I don't know what any part of me was thinking in letting him meet Jane, in fact, dating him in the first place. But that led to us almost kissing, until that janitor walked in, I was so glad you were safe, I wasn't sure at the time whether that was just a spur of the moment kiss or a 'I'm so happy you're actually alive' kiss, well, _almost_ kiss. And now I know you remember everything that happened, that we actually did kiss… in front of everyone, I feel I should explain myself."

She took a deep breath after this so I took the opportunity to cut in again, "Grace, you don't have to explain anything, I forced you into doing it Grace, I'm so sorry."

"Forced me? You really think that there's anything inside you that could actually force me into doing anything? You know now, when you're fully yourself that you wouldn't be able to bring yourself to do that. So don't apologize, because I'm not sorry." I heard her laugh slightly, probably because I was pulling the most ridiculous face ever. I was piecing together what she was saying, and it wasn't what I expected.

"You told me you loved me once, remember?"

I shook my head, wide eyed but didn't say anything, afraid of what she was going to say next.

"I didn't think you would, but anyway, it was when you were on all that pain medication after you burnt yourself jumping into that burning building to save that man's life, remember? I was watching over you while you were resting, then you told me that you had something you wanted to tell me, and then you did. You told me you loved me and I was terrified to hear it and before I could explain myself, you'd already fallen asleep. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know if I should bring it up so I didn't, I blamed it all on the medication you were on. But after that I couldn't get my mind off it. I had never once tried making myself appear better for you, never tried impressing you, and yet you still had these feelings for me. That's why- that's why I kissed you back. When Jane was testing out whether you were hypnotized or not, both you and Jane knew what you were going to do, obviously you did, it's what _you_ wanted to do, Jane knew because he's a mind reader. Funny thing is, which I didn't fully take into consideration until after what you, no, _we_ did, was that _I_ knew you were going to do it as well. That's why I started to walk away, I was unsure of my feelings and how I'd react, either I'd kiss you back or assault you. I had no time to think when you turned me around, so I went with what felt right."

I broke out into a smile because of this, she _had_ kissed me back, and she did it because it felt right. I looked down at her as she walked towards me steadily, unsure of what was to happen next. She surprised me by placing both her hands on my chest and speaking again.  
"And I feel fine in explaining all of this to you, fine in that, I know what you feel is true, because, well, I feel it too."

I had no control over the grin that spread over my face; I looked into her eyes and wrapped my hands around her waist. This was our moment, I was going to kiss her and never let go of her. I leaned down towards her while I felt the shift in her angle as she leaned up towards me. Time seemed to slow and I could take in every detail about this moment, her cheeks were tinged pink and her eyes fluttered closed a second before mine did. I could feel us getting closer; I felt her last breath on my face before-

"Wait. We- we can't."

I opened my eyes and looked down on her, and I'm sure the hurt I saw in her eyes were a direct reflection of mine.

"It's like I said, when you were high on medication, we can't."

"I fell asleep remember? I never heard what you said."

"Its work, it's against-"

"Is that you only reason?" I asked her, cutting her off.

"It's a pretty valid reason."

"You know your problem Grace?" I asked her, pulling my arms up from around her waist to cup her face. "It's that you think too much," I said while gently brushing my thumb across her lips, "You think too much of the consequences, and not about what you want. Right now, that's important. Right now, you, us! We're what's important, not work, not any other reason you could think of."

"But,"

"No Grace, this isn't something you should need to think about, so, don't think about it Grace, OK? Because I don't need to think about it to know I want this, and from what you've said, you want this too. So just stop thinking about it, please. Like this, you should never think."

Grace looked at me for a moment, a small smile on her face indicated that I had said the right thing. Then she brought her lips to mine. I moved my hands from her hair to her waist again, holding her as close as I could physically allow, not taking the time to notice the details this time.

"Wayne," She whispered to my lips, breaking the kiss for only a moment. I murmured back to her, unable to form a coherent response. "Can I stay here tonight?"

I smiled into our kiss and deepened it, hoping that would be a reasonable enough answer for her. I don't know how long we stood there, embraced in a kiss that spoke all our emotions for us, but I knew it was the most real thing I had ever felt.

* * *

That was long. That was also the end!

Reviews are a smashing way to tell me what you think 8D


End file.
